And in this Brave New World, I still react emotionally to this situation as a real live human being with feelings and emotions that have taken millions of years to evolve. Without the benefit of a hundred or so years to adapt to this new virtual reality world, it still hurts, just as much as it would if someone were abusing me in real life.

My brain doesn’t know the difference between something that I should just treat as a creative outlet, as a way to communicate and make art, and something that evokes such a weird range of frustrating and confusing emotions.

If I am going to survive it, I need to find out what is driving it, and what the hooks are. It calls for a deeper understanding of psychological addictions.

This is virtual reality. It doesn’t mean anything. I just want to very gently explain that to my heart, who is crying like there is no tomorrow.